Taking offence

Has it ever occurred to you that whether or not you are offended by something I say or write is entirely dependent on what you think of me, not on what I actually said or wrote?

If your best friend says to you “F@*k off, you stupid wa#$er”, the chances are you will interpret it as banter and laugh.  If a stranger said it you’d be annoyed.

The current US Presidential campaign is a case in point.  Both sides keep throwing out ‘information’ about their opponent that is designed to make the opponent seem unelectable, but the only people who actually find it so are those who weren’t going to vote for the opponent anyway.  The Trump Campaign could accuse Hilary of murdering babies (for all I know, they already have) and the only people impressed would be the existing Trump supporters.  How people take what they hear is entirely dependent on what they believed about the speaker before they heard it.

This is particularly true on Facebook.  You are quite possibly ‘friends’ with people who are not really your friend.  If somebody you like makes a dubious post you are less likely to hit back with a damning riposte than if it’s someone with whom you actually have a positive relationship.  This perhaps explains why there is so much anger in Facebook!

So next time you hear or read something and find yourself feeling offended, don’t focus on what was actually said or written – think instead about the person saying or writing it.  Why don’t you like that person?  Have they done something in the past to hurt you, or someone close to you?  Or is it just that you don’t really know them at all?  Consider this before you leap to your keyboard or open your mouth and maybe you will decide that it isn’t worth the effort of hitting back against someone who isn’t worth the investment or your time.  Then we can all save ourselves a lot of anger.

Maybe I shall try to follow my own advice, here!